What a great question, eh?
I have to ask myself this question. It's been way too long since I have written here. Reason? I have been crazy busy with my sons and life got in the way. My excuse? I was too busy. Reality of it all? I have been crazy busy, however, I still could have planned properly and written.
Have you ever used an excuse for something that is not going well in your life? It could be your job, your weight, your relationships, your lack of having a job or finishing school. There are a myriad of reasons why something goes unfinished in our lives. But it takes a special person to turn those excuses into dust and do something positive, regardless of the reason behind the excuse. On the surface, a reason and an excuse look the same. It's what we do with the results of each where the difference lies. What is the result from the excuse/reason? What is the action that followed? What are the repercussions? How does this affect me or those around me?
Those are big questions to ask!
Well, it's no secret to anyone who has read my blog. First of all, thank you. I receive no compensation, but I like to think that someone out there is being helped by my mistakes or encouraged by my revelations.
So here it is. Here's the scoop. FACT: Since 2011 I have had nine surgeries. Two on my foot, three spine surgeries, gallbladder removed, appendix removed, hip surgery and a hysterectomy. Good Lord! I know you He loves me, but truly last summer I doubted.
As I write this, it's been nine months since my last susrgery and that is longer than I have gone in four years time. I honestly feel like I am starting to feel human again. The first few surgeries I didn't think too much about them. Then as my body started breaking down more and more, well then - the difference between reasons and excuses in all that I did, became quite confusing.
Only today, as I walked our two adorable doxie's, did God place this thought in my heart. Yes, I have reason to be behind the eight ball and reasons to be heavier than I have been since being post pardum 15 years ago. But, they are reasons. It's up to me to make choices to change what I can and not turn my past health history into excuses to stay overweight.
You see, it's easy for me to make excuses. I have obesity in my blood! It's on both sides of my family tree. I can't run anymore, that's why I am heavier. My back is still healing, that's why I can't cycle. My arthritits in my hands stops me from lifting heavy weights. Blah, Blah, Blah. God asked me quite clearly today (in my spirit, mind you, not audibly): "What can you do, Tracy"?
Huh. I can watch what I eat.
I can walk, alot.
I can eat more often, make wise choices, not allow myself to get starving and over eat. I can (get ready for this earth shaking idea) I can plan out my day.
I can. I can prepare what I am going to do with my time. I can put up boundaries on the things that suck the life out of me and replace that lost time on more important things. I can prepare my meals in advance. I can be real with God, my husband and my accountability partner. I can break down my weight loss goals into weekly goals and not let the big picture scare me. I can map out my schooling. ( I am studying holistic philosophy right now, not my fav), I can prepare to make the most of every day.
My recent lack of preparedness has left me a bit... um, stupid. Truly. In my not so bright moments, I over eat to feel good or to handle stress. (duh!! Overeating leaves me feeling fat, ugly and bad about myself. Not once has a poor food choice ever taken stress away. That is a huge lie from satan). My lack of preparedness has cost me money in the grocery store, it's cost me money on new (bigger) clothes and it has created a lot of stress.
Aha! That was then, this is now. It's been ten solid days since I have (drum roll please) actually tracked my food. I am barely 5' tall and I eat like a NFL linebacker. I do have a houseful of men who can eat like that and I do get caught up. But no more. I have mapped out my BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate), I have calculated my TDEE (Total Daily Energy Expenditure) and my REE (Resting Energy Expenditure) for my goal weight.
Basically, eating anything over my REE at my goal weight, will slow me down and keep me from hitting my goal. I am actually typing this... I desire to lose 30 lbs. It sounds like a lot, because it is. I am short, but I "carry my weight well". Or people are just really nice. Either way, I am currently overweight and I do not intend to stay this way.
The goal is that I lose the weight by mid November. 3.75 lbs a month. That's not so bad. When I break it down, it is a very tangible goal. The reasons I have gained weight are valid. Staying overweight is an excuse made up from lots of mini lies.
I am reminded that satan is the father of lies. He only comes to steal, kill and destroy. Christ came so I would have life and life to the fullest. I know my areas of excuses. I could write so many more areas. I am working on them. I have my goals in place. I have support and I am blessed to have a super husband, who is crazy patient with me, two teenage boys are almost of the house and off to college and a God who desires me to use my gifts, not get bogged down with excuses.
So I say, as I have many times. Let's Roll! Don't allow your excuses to become your truth. Change what you can and accept what you can't, but for your sanity - and the sanity of those around you - move on!