About a week ago, I started back at yoga. I had not participated in a yoga class in over two years. (Before you can ask or comment - this is not an opinion on whether or not yoga is okay for Christians.) And although it's only been three months since the lumbar fusion surgery, I am doing really well and require very minimal pain meds and praise be to God, when I need something - Aleve is all I need. I have not touched a narcotic pain medicine for more than two months! (hoo hoo!!) However, my hips are super tight. I go to physical therapy twice a week for core strengthening and loosening of my hips, so I felt like I was ready for yoga.
While I was laying there, eyes closed, just breathing and thanking God for everything, He spoke to my spirit. Not an audible voice, but certainly loud enough to bring my spirit to attention. Very clearly I felt The Lord speak into me. "In order to get healing that I am working towards, it will not come on accident, but on purpose." Several years ago, The Lord spoke to me and gave me just a word. One word. "Prepare." Little did I realize what He was preparing me for. I used to focus on one or two things that I thought God was asking me to prepare for. It dawned on me this past week, He has asked me to prepare for every day - purposefully. You see, the past three and half years of hindrances (read: surgery laden) have left me short sighted and ready for the next major health problem. Not the long run thinking He would have me to focus on now.
I am happy to share that I am beginning to really think differently. Hard habits are hard to break and my really bad habit has been my mind. Letting the enemy crowd out truth, when I am tired or frustrated. No longer! I am a child of God. I am a daughter of the Most High and I am so worthy of good change. I want to purposefully finish my third class of Holistic Nutrition with more knowledge, not just a good grade. I am intentionally asking God to bless me with increased memory skills. I am intentionally asking God to bring people into my path, so that I can point them to Him. I am asking God for grace in understanding things that trouble me or things that simply trip me up. I am purposefully changing my eating habits to fuel my body with what I need to succeed. There is not a diet plan out there that I have not tried. But, truly - therein lies the problem. "Trying a diet" does not mean that I automatically have made lifestyle changes. Now, I am shopping for food on purpose. I am preparing my family's meals on purpose. I select menu items on purpose. I also make bad choices on purpose. That doesn't make sense, does it? I have literally put myself in a lose-lose situation because I actually tell myself I deserve it! This my darling self... is a lie from the pit of hell.
Okay. I am learning moderation in food. It has not always been this way for me. I didn't grow up with this philosophy. I didn't have friends with this ideaology. But, you know what? I am married to a man who came out of the womb with this right thinking. One would read this and think, well duh, Tracy, just follow your husband's lead and you'll be fine. I say na-na. I have believed the lie for a long long time, that his moderation-style eating is okay for him, but not for me. I have actually believed the lie that his eating style is a trigger to me and - ready for this - have purposefully eaten more! How. Stupid.
There you have it. Once something is out in the open, we can expose the lie for what it really is. A lie. I am very much looking forward to a healthy 2015 and I don't think fall is too early to begin goal planning. I plan on having no surgeries. I plan on finishing a couple more classes toward my bachelors in Holistic Nutrition and who knows? I may also add a course on becoming a "praise moves" type teacher! All I know is that 2015 promises many good things. Good things with our boys, friends, family and of course, plenty of surprises. But, if I am following God on purpose and I continue to prepare for all things He allows in my life... I can not fail. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Just a few verses prior, Paul instructs us to think on things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely and admirable, excellent and praiseworthy. I for one, have much to thank God for. My health challenges have not defined me, but that have encouraged me to press on.