My Story - by Big Daddy Weave. Not only is this my new, play it over and over again song, it is slowly becoming my life's anthem.
If you have ever wondered why all of the goofy things that make up your life happen to you, or if you wonder if there is a greater purpose than yourself... welcome! you're just like me. I have been blessed - I have struggled with insecurity - I have lost friendships - I have doubted - I have had more than my fair share of health issues - I have failed - I have started things for 1000th time... and yet, I have to admit... My story, the things that make me, me - are in fact for a glory beyond myself.
The past several months I have not wanted to write in my blog. Why? Because I kinda felt like the next entry would be full of victory - full of physical healing and great report. I'd brag that I lost 20 pounds and that life was without struggle. But, alas... here it is the first day of my oldest sons senior year in high school and we are far from a perfect story. On any given day, I am faced with the reality that I have auto immune issues. Some times they show up as gut problems (read: celiac) some days they show up as joint or eye issues. Most recently, however it has been Rheumatoid Arthritis. Humble pie... mmmm tastes so good. NOT.
My father had RA for years. He was able to get it under control with drugs. Thus far, after trying five attempts at various drugs... I am still looking for the right combination for me. My rheumy is a good doctor and he puts up with my tears and is confident we will find the right mix for me. So I place my health at the foot of the Cross and trust God with this process too.
I took a nasty fall off my bike just before the 4th of July and though I do not remember the vast majority of a week, I healed up just fine from a grade three concussion and have been back on my bike since. I am back at the gym, local Planet Fitness with a girlfriend and thankful that I can exercise. Granted, some days I need to avoid weight lifting like the plague, because of my swollen hands, I am still at the gym.
It is all part of my story. The story that God is writing. Will my choices reflect a life that struggles and still trusts or will I allow my circumstances to alter how I see God and whether or not others see God through me? This question is easy to write, not so easy to answer when everything I want to do in a day revolves around physical pain that no one can see. We all have junk we have to deal with. Some deal with stress of their job or a boss that doesn't appreciate them. Some deal with a dying spouse, a rebellious child or financial hardships. I know gals who struggle with the sadness of never having children or of aborting a child in their youth.... or of sexual abuse in their youth. Abandonment issues. Yup. We are a messed up society, but one that needs God.
I might be the only light that someone sees. I do not want to waste that opportunity whining about my own circumstances.
The song, My story, by Big Daddy Weave speaks such truth. If you have not heard it, I challenge you to down load it and allow it to permeate the way you think of yourself.
Today, I choose God. He is on His throne, He loves me, He is good, My story ends well... so I choose to trust Him. This is my story, this is my song... praising my Savior all the day long. The Weave! Great tune!